MS Ipod Parody

What happens if Microsoft had designed the Ipod?

This is for girls to go awwww to.
Please comment and tell me how big your awww was (depending on how long you stretched it) for each of these pics.
I'm doing a survey.
(Guys are well...er....welcome)

People are so much more affectionate when they're high. Its crazy.

"I was looking for some action
but all i found was cigarettes and alcohol."
Liam Gallagher

the more that i struggle
the further i get in trouble
the more i erase you
the more you appear
any other time
any other time
please
not now

never ever never
ever never ever
pick up the phone

calm down
take three of these
with a glass of water
shut up

oh no it doesn't
oh yes it does
you should be with me
we should be together
no we shouldn't
no
we shouldn't

oh dear how sad
never mind
oh dear how sad
never mind

pass it round
down is the new up

By Thom Yorke (unpublished work)

I dont plagiarise. :-p

Stanley Donwood's a freakin genius.

Love this one.
I've felt like a dead leaf quite often.



Still. It feels warm, possibly welcoming.

Family asked Spears to go for divorce

Friday, November 17, 2006

Source: IANS
Image Source: AP

The family of pop superstar Britney Spears intervened and urged Spears to divorce her husband Kevin Federline.

Contactmusic.com reports that Spears and Federline got into an intense and ugly argument at Federline's new album's launch party, the row ending with Spears in tears.

A source says: "She came to support him and he treated her like s**t." The next day Spears' family came together and convinced her to end the relationship. The source added: "Kevin was never popular with anyone around Britney. She finally wised up."

Creative writing competition.

Notice:

This is to inform all you lazy buggers that i shall be holding a creative writing competition in the class on the 13th of dec. The essay or poem has to be no less than one hundred and fifty words.
Participation is compulsory. I'm giving assignment marks based on this.
The competition will be in English, since i teach you English.

Time allotted : 1 hr(s). A lot more if you make too many grammatical errors because i'm not bothering to correct them. You will have to.

(Signed)
Mrs. Sood.



This was put up on my class notice board on the 10th of dec., one week before the pre-boards. Not that anybody really gave a rats behind about the pre-boards, but this creative thing was scary. The mere thought of sitting down in front of that great big moth of an English teacher Sood was beyond horrifying, but writing something right out of your head is too hard for us simple hindi speking peeples.

Well we really didnt have a choice now did we? So we hauled ourselves into class and sat down still wondering about what abysmal topic she would come up with for her personal viewing pleasure.

And so as i was borrowing a pen from my mate, El Soodo came along to my desk and plopped a sheet of paper on it. When i saw the topic i was...well.....confused at first...and then really confused.

It said (in such horrible handwriting that i could have mistaken it for tiny ants......figures) :

Q. Write about "The Good Old days" in not less than 200 words.



The good old days?.....The good OLD days??!

What was i supposed to write? Huh? huh? I imagined myself going upto the teacher and asking her "Hey is this your idea of a joke? I dont have dentures OR a hip replacement. I'm not a pensioner! The good OLD days? Why dont i write about my grandchildren while i'm at it?"

Rehkhfsk......thats the first thing i wrote in my attempt to make some sense. Oh god this was brilliant! The girls seemed to have compiled a report on the good old days in their mushroomed heads and were scribbling away with rare abandon. I took a peek at one, hoping to cheat my way out of this rut. She'd used words like 'Procrastination', which i thought was a really disgusting form of castration, and 'Quondam' which i believed was condom, misspelt.

I was getting restless. It was upto me and my weak English to put something readable together. I took one final look around for some form of inspiration. I found none. Just me buddy laughing at his sheet of paper. I asked him what the joke was. He handed me his paper, still guffawing like a donkey.

When i read his "essay" i couldnt help but laugh. It said "In the gud old days, there waz very little work done when light was gone because of monsoon rain. So my mother always sent me to bazaar to buy candles. I took umbrella to avoid to get wet. Then i bought candles and came back. The end."

Le magnifique. It was all very clear now. I took the Add Gel Zero gravity pen in my right hand and began. I stopped only after the bell rang.

To my shock and wonder and awe and other synonyms for amazement, i'd won the third prize!
My mother was very proud. My English teacher hit a car and died. Well, not really. She was shocked too.

My friends and relatives asked me how i managed to do that. I told them i wrote about an old man who sat on his porch smoking his pipe all day, reciting fantastic events about the World War II and how he single handedly fought through a German Panzer division and killed every one of the Krauts and used the tanks to drive the injured British back to Nice where they were stationed. I guess i was really convincing because my friends believed that it was my grandpa i wrote about. Well, i might have led them on a bit because i used to boast about my great grandfather having fought for the British in the colonial wars. I told them they named a city in Rwanda after my great grand-daddy.

So after this incident i have been confident about my powers over the English language. Of course i still dont compare such greats as Yeats, Shelley, Lord Byron, the Bard and Ishita Ghosh with my lowly self.

I leave you with a little thing that one of my college friends wrote at a creative writing competition at school. We'll call him M_ for now. His topic was something about overcoming language barriers and reaching out. He has left an indelible impression upon my psyche, as i'm sure many others, with his deep, thought provoking words.

"One dog met another on the street:
Woof woof woof, ruff ruff
woof woof woof.

Other dog: Woof woof, bark bark bark
Ruff, woof, bark.

Pack of dogs (in harmony):
Woof woof woof woof,
Ow ow ow ow, yipe.

And so, man strives to break barriers. But, some barriers are not meant to be broken.
Thank you."

Kudos M_ !

Note:

A lot of people write after or while listening to music. Music influences the written word. Period.
They dont wanna accept it, but they do. Subconsciously.

I've accepted it a long time ago.

I Dont know.

So frustratingly simple. I dont know. I dont know why.
I do a lot of quirky things. I'm just gonna write about them. Cause its my blog.

I talk when i write. I also write the way i talk.
"So now that we're acquainted, i'm gonna write my blog like this."

"I talk to myself when i walk on the road, in various accents. I do this so i can sound like i'm talking to two or three of me, all of us with different points of view on the same subject (cause we sound and act differently) but in the end we all agree on what i say."

"I need counseling. Constantly. But, i dont tell anyone. I call my heroes. This includes a man called Paul who works really hard, the Arsenal football team which looks over me because their poster is on the wall right above my head and Bob Marley who walks next to me constantly messing with his dreadlocks and sayin 'You gonna be a'ite maan, keep your faith.' Then i kick a stone and say yeah..."

"When i listen to a song, i listen intently for very specific notes. I have no knowledge of musical scales or chords or suchlike. But i like the little, hidden things in a song, like a note here or a piano piece there or jus the violin in the background. I even listen to noise."

"I like loose shirts."

"I like being thin and lanky."

"I imagine myself floating outside my window sometimes."

"I like the glow of a street light through a tree from far off."

"Dont mess with my head. It plans everything out. I'm lost without my plan."

"I hate wasting time. But i waste time just by thinking about not wasting time. I hate thinking that too. Its a big spiral loop that ends with a fundamental question - 'Where are my slippers?'"

"My mouth is always open when i watch a movie."

"My mouth is usually open."

"I listen to anyone when they tell me anything. And i imagine it happening. So i'm usually lost in thought when people talk to me, which they find rude and/or disturbing. But they dont know i just heard everything they just said. And it puts a smile on my face."

"I smile a lot for no reason at all."

I dont know why i wrote this blog. I dont know. Dont ask me.