Haidinger's Pussy vs. Schroedinger's Cat.

See, one day Haidinger was feeling really horny.


He told Schroedinger that he wanted some good old pussy. Schroedinger was slightly taken aback because usually the most that Haidinger ever wanted was a large milkshake (?).

Since H& S were nerds, they didnt know any 'Hot Bitches'. So they were faced with a problem.
But, using some simple calculus and fourier theory, and being an incredibly god-like mathematician, S was able to find a solution.

Well, something like a solution. Which is actually what all mathematicians do. They find such incredibly horrible solutions to all problems that you're left bemused and the only thing you can say (in trying to not look like a complete dumbass) is "Holy crap. Man, that guy must be smoking some good shit!"

Anyway, back to H&S. Just when Haidinger was about to apease his sexual appetite -for a while- with some jerky motions of his willy suspention, Schroedinger took him by the arm to a little yard behind their two-storey house in the sub-urbs of San Somewherino, and showed him a cage.

Then he went and put an alley cat (affectionately called 'Leibnitz-ka' by the duo) in the cage and closed the cage door.

Haidinger was highly discombobulated at this strange sight. He questioned S about the relevance of the cat in the cage to the current problem under analysis. He would have been closer to the solution if he had handed him some colorful pornography. But, he persisted.

Schroedinger explained that if one wanted some pussy, taking the cat as the 'Hot Bitch', and the cage as an energy barrier defining 'Coolness' as a function of energy, one would have to tunnel through the barrier instead of leaping it. And even if one did do that the existence of pussy in the cage does not have a finite (normaly distributed) probability distribution .

Therefore, for low tunneling values one must have high energy driving particles, which refers to the male...ahem...Mr. Cheney.

But an easier solution to reach the pussy would be to remove the barrier or unlock the cage door. And since the one who created the cage has the keys to it, he has complete access to whatever lay inside.

Thus, to get pussy, Haidinger would have to buy Schroedinger the new "50*50 matrix buster!!" game cartridge.

And so he did.

But, since there was no pussy in the first place, the duped Haidinger had to suffice with a Playboy 1964 mag and an empty bowl.

Moral of the story:
Never trust a man good with math.